Whether you know it or not, the family unit is under attack. One of the first institutions God established was the family. The Bible and many other resources have given us a model of family throughout history. But today, it is under attack! In his post 7 Threats in our Times, Dr. Del Tackett stated, “If you pierce the family, you pierce society.” This statement is true in many ways. Fifty percent of all marriages in the US will end in divorce or separation. 1 out of 4 children will grow up with an absent father. Seventy percent of criminals grew up in a broken homes. Our society has been pierced, and now we face the reality of a society that struggles to adapt to true relationships.
Fact #1: Premarital Counseling is a MUST!
Do the math. 5 out of 10 marriages end in divorce. The Top Five reasons for divorce are Commitment, infidelity, conflict and arguing, financial problems, and domestic violence. The piece that most couples miss is the reality that every person brings a set of good and bad habits to the relationship. These habits are learned based on how they were raised. If these habits are not addressed in the premarital process, they most certainly will cause challenges in the marriage. This is the importance of solid Premarital Counseling and workshops.
Fact #2: There are Myths about Marriage
Based on the October 2022 SYMBIS Newsletter, “Research makes it abundantly clear: Expectations are deeply linked to marital satisfaction.
Here are two of the most common:
Myth #1: “We expect the same things from marriage.”
Every relationship is governed by a list of unspoken rules. Things like “always be on time,” “don’t talk about your feelings,” or “downplay your success.” Everybody has them. We either inherit our unspoken rules or invent them. And only when our spouse “breaks” them do we know they exist. Helping couples align mismatched expectations shaped by unspoken rules and unconscious roles can make or break a marriage.
Myth #2: “My spouse will make me whole.”
Marriage challenges every spouse to be a better person, but neither marriage nor a partner will magically make someone complete. Marriage is not a shortcut to personal well-being or emotional health. This false expectation leads some to become dependent on their partner in a way that is by all standards, unhealthy. They create enmeshed relationships characterized by over-dependence and a strong dose of low self-esteem. This deeply flawed expectation may be the most dangerous myth of all.”
The Family matters, and we must guard the family unit. It all starts with you! Personal growth as a couple, father, or mother is very important. There are many ways that you can grow in these areas. The question is, do you want to?
